she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
