Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
