Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
