apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
