Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
