this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
