I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
