biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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