a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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