Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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