lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
