; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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