i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
