Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he thought i was a dude.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize