I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
