If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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