I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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