Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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