Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize