I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
