Dual....:-)
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
