I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize