I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
