I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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