i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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