I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
they're like a gay fantastic four
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
