Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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