I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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