She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
