he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
