Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize