If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
