omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
