ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
