I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize