YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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