bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
