worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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