i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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