you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
