so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
