Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
