Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
