I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
