Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
