dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
