I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
