just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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