let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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