The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
