Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
