With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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