I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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