Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've blown a few things in my day
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
