I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
