Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
