you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
