Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
