No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
false alarm, still single
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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