Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
