I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
