also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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